One in a Million

Who wants to hear a funny story? 🙋🏻‍♀️ I mean…the world is 💩 so who doesn’t is probably the better question.

I was trimming my bangs this morning, as you do when you can’t fit in a proper haircut. I then went off to work without a care in the world. About 20 minutes into my drive, my eye really started bothering me—like needles were being stuck into it. Lots of rubbing and a couple of eye flushes later and it was just worse. I couldn’t see anything. I called the eye doc and got in right away. Apparently one of those teeny tiny trimmed bang hairs got lodged in my upper punctum.

Now, you may be wondering, as I did, what the upper punctum actually is. You know that microscopic hole in the inner bottom eye lid most call a tear duct. That’s your lower punctum. The upper punctum is even tinier. And against all odds…and gravity…a hair had perfectly maneuvered into it.

The eye doctor said it had a 1 in a 1,000,000 shot of happening. Most doctors go their entire career never seeing this rare thing. There isn’t even a billing code for it. But you know what there is a billing code for? Getting your eye pecked by a chicken…both provoked and unprovoked. There are two different billing codes for a check pick to the eyeball. But no code for removing a foreign object from the punctum. You know it must be rare it the insurance companies haven’t figured out a way to bill you for it.

I have cold eye drops I need to use for a few days. Plus, I get to wear this fashionable eye patch. The problem is that apparently a flat patch is impossible to find. I cannot wear my glasses with the pointy patch the doc gave me and every Walgreens and CVS has available for purchase. Therefore I cannot see. I will be doing the next best thing recommended by my doctor—dousing my eyes with the cold eye drops, working in a dark room, and wearing my sun glasses when the lights are on.

Just call me Jack Sparrow

Moral of the story? Leave the hair cuts to the professionals.

I promise this is not a joke.


SOL 22: Cookie Monster to Cookie Monster

My dad is semi retired. He has a part time job that usually keeps him busy closer to full time depending on the season. I have three kids and a full time job. Let’s just say we don’t necessarily run in the same circles. I’m a homebody with my party of five and he’s the social butterfly I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. I couldn’t keep up if I tried. We don’t get to see each other as often as I would like.

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SOL 22: word games

It’s become sort of a tradition with McKenna and I. At some point during the day when neither of us is losing our minds with the loudness of the boys, we work on the daily Wordle. As a friend recently said—it’s just enough. It’s not an endless time suck like TikTok or Instagram. It’s not a toxic tragedy like Facebook. All of which I enjoy. It’s just…enough.

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