He’s been a beast to get to sleep lately.

Teething? Maybe.

Overtired? Certainly.

He fights the nightly routine of diaper change, PJs, sleep sack, and snuggles. I feel like I’ve got him in a straight jacket as I apply some pressure around him to get him to calm. He lets out an ear shattering scream. He fights it for a moment then he puts his head down, whimpering for just a second or two longer. He snuggles his orange as I snuggle him. He rolls his left ankle in a counter clockwise motion. That’s when you know he’s done fighting and giving into the cuddle.

It’s not often he actually falls asleep before I gently lower him into his crib. But when he does, it’s hard stop rocking him.

These days go by so quickly. My mind races and I breathe him in. Eventually I’ll need to snuggle her and sing our nightly tune.

But these days go by so quickly. She already puts on her own PJs without any help. No sleep sack and definitely no rocking in the rocking chair anymore. Leaving him to go to her means I’ll have to give up the sweet heaviness of him in my arms while he rests his head on my shoulder.

But these days go by so quickly. His rhythmic breathing has practically lulled me into a trance I only wake from when I hear the commotion from the bathroom next door. Teeth are being brushed and potties are taking place. Eventually she will be calling for her favorite “roun” yellow. Soon I know I’ll have to put my baby boy down to attend to my big girl.

But these days go by so quickly. Who knows how many more times this will happen with him. She hasn’t fallen asleep in my arms since that one time last summer we spent all morning and most of the afternoon out on the boat. Before that…I couldn’t tell you.

These days go by so quickly.

I want to make time slow to a snail’s pace. Soon he will be PJ-ing himself and she won’t even want our nightly song. I’ll be wishing for these hectic evenings when I balanced nighttime routines for both kiddos. I’ll be dreaming of a snoozing baby in my arms and a cuddly toddler by my side.

I am writing for the 2019 March Slice of Life Challenge