Covid killed a whole lot of romance in relationships. People were spending WAY too much time together. They saw, hear, and maybe even smelled things that were never meant to be shared with a romantic partner. That absence makes the heart grown fonder thing stopped because there was no more absence. It happened all over the world.
It kinda happened in my house.
It wasn’t intentional. But I was 5-6 months pregnant at the beginning of Covid exactly 2 years ago. That can kill most all romance anyway. We had also had a 4 year old and a 2 year old who had been ripped out of the daycare and plunked down in front of screens so Mommy and Daddy could work. We were just figuring out George’s PFAPA and McKenna was…going through a thing. We were mentally exhausted from that whirlwind time. We were physically exhausted from running after 2 kids, growing and preparing for a third, while working together in extremely NSFW spaces…all without help.
Forget romance. We were in survival mode. I remember very little of it.
And we got complacent. We couldn’t go anywhere anyway. There were no restaurants where we felt safe. No babysitter. Nothing. Plus we had a newborn. Then and infant with two big kids. And now a toddler with two even bigger kids. Don’t forget I ended up in 2+ months of kidney stone hell in 2021 not to mention a bit of a kidney stone drama in 2020, too.
March is not good to my kidneys.
So, this year my husband had an idea. You know all those gift cards you have that just sit in a drawer? He started planning days where we compile use them. He’s been calling on our small reserve of family babysitters or planning things when we are off but our beloved Miss Sophia is here for us to have date lunches.
It’s nothing fancy. Today I wore a sweatshirt, ponytail, and no makeup. But we leave the house sans kids for a few hours to enjoy time together. We have a meal. Talk about things mostly other than the kids. It’s nice. We use usually use a long forgotten about gift card or some bonus points from a restaurant we used to visit precovid. It’s been the perfect compromise with safety, budget, and grown up time.
Today was date day. Aunt Eve came by and watches the kids. We hadn’t even mentioned it to them so they were SO excited when she arrived. We went to BWW and had a nice lunch. Since Aunt Eve had planned to stay until dinner time, we curled up for some much needed rest with the baby afterwards while she entertained the big kids.
At some point I must have dosed off because I woke up in a dark quiet room by myself. Aaron had taken the baby to catch up with his sister and let me catch up on some sleep. A fever cycle followed by George’s surgery followed by a cold for McKenna and now teething for Theo has left me without any real sleep for nearly 2 weeks. And although I could still sleep for a month, I am so much more rested that before.
That solo nap, though not romantic, hit all the right notes. It showed that my husband had been listening to me and anticipated my needs. It demonstrated that he can take the initiative to make me feel cared for. It was exactly what I needed.
Who said romance was dead?
I love this slice. Somedays, it’s about just knowing what your partner needs. It’s not about romance, it’s about being there and being present. It sounds like you’ve got a good one! 🙂
Thank you for sharing with us today
Appreciate this so much, for a ton of reasons. But also because I am a mama of four littles and feel every moment of the work that has to go into keeping romance alive…Beautifully captured.
COVID def put a damper on all things romance- and new babes def add to the challenging mix! Glad you and Aaron got out of the house together. On the rare occasion Charlie and I plan a date night, there is a small part of me that just wants to go to bed early and get REST! haha