Twas the morning after Tuesday, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
LLR leggings were hung to dry on the chair
In hopes that they would never rip, bust or tear.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dish rags danced in their heads.
And him in his PJs and I in my night’s best
Had just woken our brains, from a brief fractured rest.
When in the reflection I saw bags beneath my eyes.
These lights are too bright, I thought with a sigh.
Away to the magnifying mirror without delay
I grabbed the brushes to start out my day.
The blinding light showed me spareness of brow
Reminding me of what had to be done now.
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear:
But a crazy long, wiry, surprise gray hair.
With a small little curl, so shiny and tight
It could only be seen in the harsh bathroom light.
Only one grew out, right beside my left ear
Thank god because I don’t have much more to spare.
I exhaled and whispered a few choice words:
Now sh!t. Now d@mn.
Now no! And why me?
How did get so long?
How did I not see?
From the top of my head, to the curve of my jaw
I looked and I looked. I inspected them all.
My head full of hair, all regularly colored
When did this happen was all I could wonder:
We just covered them all with the professional stuff
Did one grow that fast? Is semi permanent not enough?
I clamped onto that hair and pulled on the gray
But I thought I saw another hiding away
All crazy and silly, it was there with some friends.
If I pluck out some more, it will never ever end.
I’ll be bald before noon, of this I can be sure
If I do not give up and stop hunting for more.
Make an appointment to take care of all this.
She will cover them all and not one she will miss.
I am writing for the Two Writing Teachers March Writing Challenge
Oh, the horror of grey… please, please stay away. I love how you have composed the poem.
Thanks for reading.
How clever and wonderful this is! I am laughing as I read. Sorry! I gave up covering those greys long ago. Haven’t caved yet. We will see…
Love, love, love this parody. My favorite line: “But a crazy long wiry surprise gray hair.”
I found my first gray hair my first year of teaching 37 years ago. I’ve written a couple blog post about my battle w/ gray. These days I’m fishing the gray out of my eyebrows and off my chin.
YESSSSS! This is amazing. Too clever, the entire thing. Can’t even pick a favorite line. Too many to choose from!
This was so entertaining! The war against gray hair is an epic one and it seems the gray always comes out on top. Thanks for sharing this fun slice!