SOL 31: reflection

The house is quiet. I can hear little man in his crib beginning to babble himself awake. But he’s settling in to catch a few more zzz before it’s officially time to rise. I love this of the day. The rhythmic breathing of my husband beside me almost lulls me back to sleep. Then I remember.

Only one slice remains.

I haven’t sliced this way all month…in the quiet alone with my thoughts. I’m usually slicing while a pot simmers and I’m feeding two littles or after they’re asleep with whatever we are binge watching filling the quiet. I quickly scroll through pictures to find a topic if nothing jumped out at me throughout the day.

This challenge has been…well…challenging. Making writing a daily priority has been difficult. But I made it through another year far exceeding my goal of writing three times a week. I posted each and everyday. No fillers or total crap either. Each slice was from the heart. That’s quite the feat for someone who has never thought of herself as a writer. I found my rhythm and really developed my own style. I enjoyed it. I felt welcomed by the community once again. I loved finding new bloggers to read and was always surprised when someone would stop by to read mine. I was even more shocked if they came back.

It’s been a month of reflection for me. Nearly all my slices were about my children. How could they not be? They are my entire world. They fill my days and nights with so much love it bursts out of me onto the screen.

But I’ve realized this month that I don’t take a lot of time for myself or for my husband and our marriage. My sister likes to say we are in the thick of it. That’s true. Our kids are so much needier than they will be in a year or two. It doesn’t leave much time for the two of us. But in just a few years’ time, they will have different needs. Sure, they will be able to pour their own milk and hopefully wipe their own butts…finally…but they will need rides to a friend’s house and practice. Certainly we will be pulled in two different directions.

Where will we be then? Can we survive until then?

Our children will be bigger but will our problems be fewer? My mom passed away before my kids were born. I never got her advice as a veteran parent of six. But my sisters did. She tells me my mom always said bigger kids bigger problems. Hearing that makes me think that these are actually the easier times. Will we be able to weather that storm with even less time together?

We have a strong relationship. After starting your marriage the way we did, there’s no way you couldn’t. We don’t fight. We do have disagreements from time-to-time but they usually stem from lack of sleep…or my hangriness. We make up, get some sleep…or food…and move on.

We’ve begun really trying to make time for each other. We have scheduled a few dates and enlisted the help of Regular Grandpa, Papa, and aunts to watch the kids. We are trying to make it a regular event so that we have something to look forward to. As a matter of fact, Papa came over just yesterday afternoon to play with them so we could sneak away for a couple of hours. We booked a 5 night 6 day vacation this summer for just the two of us! This is a big deal considering our last actual vacation together was our honeymoon 6 years ago. We are starting to make us a priority.

our last real vacation together—Honeymooning in Alaska

I guess what I’m trying to say through all this babble, is that this slice challenge was eye-opening for me. It gave me the perspective I had been missing. I didn’t realize how much time we devote to our little family while neglecting each other. It’s made me want to work a little harder to put our relationship on one of the front burners. There are two of them, after all. There is plenty of room for my children and husband.

I am writing for the 2019 March Slice of Life Challenge

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