My kids each have hand-me-down iPads. They have 1 hour a day between the hours of 10:00am and 6:00pm to do what they like on them. I do have them pretty heavily restricted with what apps are on them and what they can access. However, they have unlimited access to music and reading until bedtime. They can use Apple Music to listen to whatever they like (explicit music restricted). They also have access to Libby and Hoopla from our local library to read books. The boys need help looking for and downloading books to read or listen to. McKenna can do it on her own.

She listens to a lot of books…likely more than I do. And I average 75-100 books a year. She loves to eyeball read graphic novels either in paper version or electronically. She probably has ten or so in constant rotation.

A few nights ago she sent me a recommendation for something I should check out of the library. I have no idea how she got access to this since I thought I had restricted it to under 12 years old. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway, she was telling me about a book she just read called Other Boys by Damian Alexander. It’s about a kid with a tragic past who starts a new school in seventh grade thinking something is wrong with him because he likes “girlie things”…including liking the boys.

trigger warning for domestic violence and bullying of the LGBTQIA+ community

I decided to give it a read because I had read the trigger warnings. I wish I had known about them before she read so I could have prepared her for the language in the book. The book was very well written for a tween graphic novel.

We don’t shy away from tough subjects in our house. And I promised my kids long ago I would never lie to them. Or at least not about the important things…I mean…we still do the magical gift giving creatures. So when my kids have asked about their bodies or sex or different types of relationships or families, we discuss it all with appropriate and compassionate language. So imagine my dismay when there were words in this book that I would consider gay slurs…certainly not kind. And to say my kids have led a trauma free, charmed life is an understatement. I was expecting her to have a ton of questions.

But she said she didn’t. I mentioned that I had read it. I brought up the domestic abuse and how I noticed there were words in the book we would never use because of how unkind they are. She asked what they were and I showed her. We discussed why they were unkind to the LGBTQIA+ community and we aren’t unkind to anyone. That sometimes it’s not even the actual WORD but how the word is used. Cute can mean two different things depending on how you use it. And the way the words were used in the book, they were meant to be unkind.

I just love when these conversations happen organically. She asked thought provoking questions and wanted me to help define each of the letters in LGBTQIA+…wondering how on earth I can even remember all those letters. She was surprised that gay and queer referred to both men and women (and everyone in between) but women got its very own word with lesbian! We decided it’s because women are just awesome. I had never thought of it that way.

I think sometimes it takes the thoughts of someone who is truly pure of heart for the rest of us to put away our implicit biases. My kids just make me a better person.

I am writing for the 18th annual Slice of Life challenge presented by Two Writing Teachers.