I was never going to leave. My plan was to retire from there. I only needed 10 years until I could. I was happy. I was successful. I was making a difference. Why would I leave that?

Then something happened.

I wasn’t looking. I just landed in my lap. Well. In my notifications. I belong to a PLN…professional learning network. Someone mentioned they were leaving their position and then added the posting. I was curious so I clicked on it. I checked off a lot of the boxes. But I was happy where I was. Like really REALLY happy.

I reached out to someone else in the PLN. She worked there. Would I like it. Was it crazy difficult? Did she think I was qualified enough? Had enough experience? I would be coming from a less than affluent area to a much more well-to-do one. Were the parents overbearing?

Tell. Me. Everything.

I agonized over deciding to even apply. One thing I knew for sure was that the special education pond was a small one. I wasn’t actively looking for this opportunity. But it would likely make its way back to my boss if I threw my hat in the ring. The professional thing to do would to give a head’s up. So I did.

I think she was shocked. I cried. Like big fat ugly tears. She reassured me that she wasn’t taking it personally and she didn’t want to hold me back. I told her that I couldn’t NOT at least explore this opportunity for my family. So I did it. I’m not sure she believed that I would actually apply.

I got a call for an interview pretty quickly. I kept working at my job as if I was staying. Because in my head, I was. I was told they were going to make their decision by the end of the week. So when I didn’t hear back 7+ days later, I was kind of relieved I didn’t need to make any decision at all. It had been made for me.

McKenna and I were lounging in bed just chatting when my phone rang. It was a 630 area code. Having been waiting for a call from a local doctor, I answered. She identified herself and at first I couldn’t place the name. That’s how much I had pushed it all from my mind. Then she said she would like to offer me the job. I was stunned. I had written it off. I confirmed a few details while asking for a letter of intent to be sent to me to review.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCKETY FUCK!

McKenna was shocked by the stream of expletives from my mouth and tears from my eyes. I went upstairs to talk to Aaron. He must have thought someone had died by the way I looked. I told him and he was so happy for me. But I was just so sad. For this new beginning, something had to end.

He promised to support my decision no matter what it was. He swore he would NEVER throw it in my face if I decided to pass on the offer. I showed him the payscale and he almost choked. So many things we could do.

I made a pros and cons list. The cons were short.

It was the end of an era for me. I loved it there. I was terrified to start over. It had been my home for nearly 15 years. But my new team made transition painless. We’ve meshed from the beginning. We compliment each other so well, I think. Where I fall short, they’ve got me covered. And I think I add to the team with some fresh ideas that really make a difference.

It’s been since August and I feel good about my decision now. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. But it was the right one for me at the right time. I don’t regret it but I do miss my people. They were more than coworkers. They were a family. It’s hard building new relationships after you’ve been somewhere for so long but it’s been worth it.

But new beginnings always mean something has ended. That ending still hurts a little no matter how wonderful the new beginning may be.

I am writing for the 17th annual Slice of Life challenge presented by Two Writing Teachers.