Birthdays PM (post mom) pretty much suck. I had my 37th birthday a mere 3 weeks after my mom died. I wasn’t exactly in a celebratory mood. I remember my dad asking me if I wanted to go out to dinner. I told him that I just wanted to make dinner like a regular Thursday and forget the day had some sort of significance. Honestly, with exception of my wedding, honeymoon, and very few other joyous events, I would have liked to have forgotten that my 36th year even existed. I wanted a redo.
Growing up, we never really had big birthday parties. We celebrated with a specially chosen meal…cooked by mom…and maybe a tub-o-icecream or box-o-popsicles. With so many kids running around, who had the time, money, or energy to put together an actual party. As we grew older and the boys started spending time with my dad fishing, golfing, and doing whatever else boys do with their dads. That’s when my mom realized the girls needed a little bonding time, as well. That’s when our birthday outings came about. Each year, on our birthdays, we would do something fun with just the girls. We would go to the show or get mani/pedis. We would have a nice lunch or go for massages. Sometimes all of the above in one day if we were feeling ambitious. Nothing crazy, but a little time to ourselves and a little treat to each other. I have so many fun memories of those special days: dinner at Wildfire, seeing Sex & the City, lunch at Cooper’s Hawk, shopping at Light House Mall, spa day at Nicole Richards and so many more days I cannot even begin to describe. We always laughed: usually at the expense of one of the sisters. We always ate: one of the things us girls did best together. We always had fun.
My sister C’s birthday is tomorrow and I know how much that first birthday PM can really suck. I’m so glad we got to spend time together today downtown just like old times. We lunched, we chatted, we shopped. It was a little sliver from the past. A bit of my mom’s celebration. And although she wasn’t there with her extendo finger divvying out her little snippets of advice, no one could deny her presence. She was all around in our shared laughs and knowing smiles. She was digging into a slice of cheese cake and picking off our plates. She was having passion fruit iced tea and a chicken salad sandwich. She was with us.