I want nothing more than just a little extra time. I want nothing more than to hear her voice and see her smile. NOTHING.
Have I forgotten her voice already? I double check my phone for a video I know is buried somewhere in the depths of the photos icon. It is of her all hopped up on drugs talking about good fat food and buying us all some great boots. There…now it is not nothing. It is something. It is a piece of her.
It is her voice.
It is home.
I miss her.
I cry hidden sad tears when I realize it’s been so long…4 months…really? Four months without her seems like forever. Really it is nothing in the grand scheme of time. But this nothing is something.
Someday it won’t hurt so badly. Someday it will feel a bit more normal. But not today. Today nothing is everything and everything hurts.
I am participating in FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY. Today’s word is: nothing.
The rules are simple. Write for five minutes flat. There is no extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. It is unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Oh Karyn, this hurts. Really really hurts. I’m thinking of you tonight. I’m sorry still that this hurt will never go away. I love you 🙂
Thanks Brit. She’s everywhere today and it just hurts.
Thinking about 4 months myself the past few days. Still too surreal to wrap our heads around. But remember she IS everywhere, esp in your heart.
Thanks Pat. Love you.
Karyn, this place of grieving the loss of a loved one is so indescribably hard. God’s comfort and grace to you in abundance. Visiting from Five Minute Friday.
Thank you for the kind words and for stopping by.
I’m sorry Karyn…she was on my mind alot today too….coincidence? I think not. I’d like to think that her being on our minds at the same time means she is around us….
I hear these words in a song and every time I think of her:
“There are times I feel the shiver and cold
It only happens when I’m on my own
That’s how you tell me I’m not alone…
Beam Me Up…
Give me a minute….
I don’t know what I’d say in it
I’d probably just stare
Happy just to be there holdin’ your face”
I Love You…XOXO
Probably not a coincidence. Love you too.
I am so sorry, and I believe that nothing is a coincidence. They are always only as far away as our hearts. Doesn’t mean that we don’t miss them though. Blessings and love to you today.
Thank you so much for stopping by to read my very first FMF piece. There are no coincidences. I am sure of it. You stopping by led me back to your blog. And your piece gave me comfort. I thank you for that.